Before You Speak...

“I learned that my father-in-law died from Facebook.”

 That’s what I heard from a colleague yesterday.

Shocked? Not surprised?

Well, no matter your reaction, I wanted to continue my communication series by touching on one of the most important principles:

What we hear cannot be “unheard.” What we see cannot be “unseen.”

What does that really mean?

That we need to be careful - with our words, our reactions, our timing.

Before we accuse, before we criticize, before we judge, before we label, before we correct - take a moment and remember this simple truth: our words change brains (ours and others'.)

Neuroscience shows that the brain is shaped by our experiences and interactions - regardless of whether we are fully aware of them or not. Each one leaves a trace and influences how we respond to subsequent experiences.

I don’t want to take this into a dramatic or fatalistic direction. Instead, I want to gently raise your awareness:

-> even your self-talk can shape how you see and experience the world.

Because it is your world. And no one else’s.

You’re the one building it - thought by thought, word by word.

Now I know some of you might be thinking: “That’s not entirely true - some things just happen, and we can’t control them.”

And you’re absolutely right.

But what we can control is the way we respond, and how we communicate our feelings, thoughts, and emotions.

Next time you feel tempted to criticize - especially in a moment of frustration - pause.

Studies in psychology show we tend to focus more on negative interactions - and offer critical feedback far more often than we’re aware.

So ask yourself:

- Is this feedback really necessary, and could it be helpful?

- If so, how can I express it clearly without causing unnecessary harm?

Especially as leaders, managers or parents, our words carry weight. They can build someone’s self-confidence - or quietly take it away.

Make sure you are the leader you would want to have.

Be a leader - for yourself. And for others.

Good luck! And thank you for choosing your words with care.