What are you really afraid of when considering a change?

Imagine I am your boss.

One day I ask you to come into my office and say:

“I'm really sorry, but we need to reduce the team and your position will be eliminated. You can look for another role internally, but if nothing changes within three months, we will have to say goodbye.”

Not exactly how I would recommend delivering the message 😉 — but you get the idea.

What would your reaction be?

For one person:

“This is a complete disaster.”

For another:

“Maybe this is finally the push I needed.”

And probably everything in between.

Our reaction would depend on many things — our current situation, previous experiences, financial security, responsibilities, confidence, tolerance for uncertainty and what this job actually means to us.

But there is another situation I increasingly see in coaching.

Nobody is asking you to leave.

You are the one wondering whether you should.

Something doesn't feel right anymore.

Maybe it is the money.

Maybe the environment.

Maybe you no longer see opportunities to grow.

Maybe the work has lost its meaning.

Or perhaps nothing is terribly wrong — you simply know that you don't want to be in the same place two years from now.

And somehow, this decision can feel even harder.

When change is imposed on us, we still have to deal with the consequences. But one part has already been decided.

When we initiate the change ourselves, another question appears:

“What if I make the wrong choice?”

The new job may be better.

Or not.

The new team may be fantastic.

Or worse.

We may find what we were looking for.

Or discover that what we thought we wanted wasn't actually it.

There is no guarantee.

And perhaps this is why trying to get rid of the fear completely is not the best place to start.

Fear makes sense when we are facing uncertainty.

What may be more useful is asking:

“What exactly am I afraid will happen?”

Losing financial security?

Regretting the decision?

Failing?

Disappointing somebody?

Discovering that the problem wasn't the job after all?

Once fear becomes specific, something changes.

We can look at it.

Is it likely?

Is it manageable?

Can I reduce the risk?

What would I do if it actually happened?

And there is one more question that I think we sometimes forget to ask:

Is avoiding this fear worth staying where I am?